Saturday, October 23, 2010

Day 4 of 30 days of Me

Day 04-
A habit that you wish you didn’t have

I have tons of bad habits.. but they are me and it'll probably never change.

My worst.. my OCD. I'm an obsessive neat freak. I clean entirely too much and everything has to be perfect. I iron EVERYTHING. I am constantly organizing things over and over again. I get really uneasy in cluttered places. I honestly don't know how Kevin puts up with it. I'm not as bad since Rosalie was born because I've come to terms with I have a kid, she's going to make messes, and that I cannot control.

My impulse shopping. My shopping is terrible and it's never for me. It's always for Rosalie. That girl has more clothes, bows, and shoes than she'll ever wear. She has more toys than she'll ever play with. I'm pretty sure we could open up a Toys R Us at our house. I just want her to have the best. My parents were the exact same way with me.. growing up I always had the best.. designer clothes.. top notch purses..nice vehicles.. a lot of people always say "i want my child to have the life I never had".. well I want Rosalie to have the life that I DID have.

Worrying. I worry entirely too much. I worry about everything.. things I have no control over.. things in the past.. and things way far in the future. I don't sleep. I lay in bed at night and anything and everything just runs through my head.. as I once told my friend Meghan, "I lay in bed at night and balance my checkbook in my head" LOL

lastly.. living in the past. I have a really hard time forgiving and forgetting. Not only that, I live on old memories and sometimes I think that stops me from making new. I have a hard time making new friends because I compare everyone to my amazing friends back home. I constantly think about the old days and the way life use to be. Granted, I do miss my wreckless teen days.. but I love my new life and how much I've changed over the past few years. I am now a wife.. a mother.. and a woman with a career (That is currently on hold).. not a wild, beer drinking, going out every night, teenager.

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